Where Are You Running?

Running.

I’ve always been pretty good at it. I was one of the fastest kids in school growing up, and enjoyed good success in running hurdles in high school. In the past few years, I’ve transitioned to trail running and half marathons (I wonder if I’ve lost my sanity).

But one aspect of running I’ve been particularly good at is running away from life—problems, issues, people, hurt, pain, and yes, God.

For some reason, the high walls of isolation have usually been my finish line. You think it would be an easy choice to act like the prodigal son, and return to the Father to be robed in glory, instead of slopping with the pigs in the field (Luke 15:11-32). But for some reason, it hasn’t. When I do something stupid, or get hurt, I’ve allowed the condemnation and shame to keep me away from the One who is love, instead of running into His open arms.

“Justin, you knew better.” “I just want to be alone.” “Here we go again.” “Is there anybody who does what they say?” All are common thoughts during those times.

Over the past couple of years, God has been teaching me the importance of running to Him, not away from Him in times of trouble, and to keep those walls down regardless of pain.

And I’ve been a slow learner.

One of the things I’ve traditionally run from was the death of my dad. At the age of 10, I learned it was easier to take that pain, ball it up, and keep it shoved inside a drawer in the recess of my soul. Or so I thought.

But running from the problem didn’t mean it still didn’t exist.

Fast forward 17 years later, and I had another chance to choose between running to God and dealing with my dad’s death, or keeping my distance. This time, I chose God.

I dug up that drawer of pain, and held it in my hands. I was nervous, I was scared, but I was ready to give it to God. I was ready to open it with Him.

As a pastor prayed over me and gave me a word, I felt a burden lift and be replaced by peace and joy. I ran to my Father, and He embraced the hurting, 10-year-old me in His arms, just like that prodigal son.

“Put the family ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Then get a grain-fed heifer and roast it. We’re going to feast! We’re going to have a wonderful time!”

“My son is here.” -Luke 15:22-24, Message

It hasn’t automatically become easier to lay everything before God. I still have to combat my instinct to run. But this was one step. And then I’ll take another, and another. And before I know it, running to God will be my instinctual response.

Perhaps 2 Corinthians 7: 9-10 (Message) puts it best about choosing where to run in times of trouble and distress.

“You let distress bring you to God, not drive you from Him. The result was all gain, no loss. Distress that drives us to God does that. It turns us around. It gets us back in the way of salvation. We never regret that kind of pain. But those who let distress drive them away from God are full of regrets, end up on a deathbed of regrets.”

So, where are you running?